Holding everything with two hands

Every morning I spend a few slow moments with my coffee cup grasped in both hands, taking in the aroma; tasting the bitterness; experiencing the warmth, flavors, and sensations. It's a moment of mindfulness and awareness, but it's also a practice of building capacity for a kind of intentionality and wholehearted presence that extends far beyond that cup of coffee.

Many years ago, a Zen teacher, Jefre Cantu-Ledesma, shared the following wisdom with me:

essence of Zen is to hold everything with two hands.

But what does that actually mean?

He demonstrated with a teacup, something we often set off to the side and drink from while doing other things. When you hold a teacup in both hands, you can't use the other hand for something else. Your attention is drawn to it. You spend time with it.

In the busy world we live in, we're often trying to do too much at the same time: rushing between meetings, multitasking, thinking of how we're going respond to someone instead of truly listening to what they have to say.

Presence is relational. It shapes how we hold power, responsibility, and each other. How we hold a cup becomes practice for how we hold each other.

A tiny "two hands" ritual

1. Pick up your coffee (tea, bubble water, kombucha, whatever...) with two hands.
2. Let your attention be just on that vessel and liquid. Spend time with it.
3. Smell, taste, feel, savor it for a moment with intention. Pay attention to how it feels in your body and what you notice.

That's it. That's the whole thing, but it can be lifechanging to practice regularly. It can ground us in moments of overwhelm and build skill in paying attention with intention. You can try this with food too; Edward Espe Brown's ceremony of one potato chip is essentially the same exercise!

Reflecting on how we show up in the world

• How would a 1:1 with my manager or direct report feel if I held it with two hands?
• What would we build if our care for customers required both hands?
• How might we hold the discomfort of difficult conversations with two hands — not pushing it away or gripping too tight?”
• Where have I been taught to shrink or split myself, and what might it feel like to hold my full self with two hands?”